umm...

I wish there was something so simple as an off switch

To stop me still and calm

to make my decisions 

and put me back

together again

My soul did run, flee me.

I don't know where it is

I do know that i hate this.

But have not the strength to pull

together my missing parts.

Stand and turn to face my inside

do battle against my fear of myself

I hate people looking at me.

I hate my voice, my physick

my greedy selfish desire and

my hesitant quiet facade

Who am i and why did i do those things

My secret is strangling me everyday.

A serpent would be biblical

but not so dramatic am i

or less do i believe.

Always for someone else.

Always aping something else.

Struggling to carry my worldly wares

yet fallen and scrambling to

obtain yet more

                      that i cannot carry.

I love only with wincing eyes

De Montaigne asks for a silence in self.

Your aim shall be to live with yourself,

that inner sanctum where your own company soothes you.

You speak and will be heard.

You listen and pay attention.

Home.

Yourself.

Cherished.

Loved.

Nurture yourself lest you depend on life.

That entire outside world of artifact.

Stagnent

I have to catch up with my self. In retrospect there are words and there are ink splashes on paper to be shared and cataloged. For posterity or for peace of mind. Either or the upload button needs to be pressed and pressed again. An image once captured will be freed unto this tempestuous terrible freeworld. No rules, no saving what is mine once the data is released. Stealing sharing is a way of life in this place. But is do i have enough to share. This page this digital page is mine and for my own. Don't steal from me i pray.

Dawn and Decay

A Home for my Heart

Oh that all boys were men

Local Natives | Who Knows Who Cares | A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

My birthday and other things

My birthday was an escape to the countryside with Easter playtimes with two of my young cousins.

This chinz kitten was waiting on my windowsill.

Later on we combined youthful exuberance with my adult knowledge of simple construction to fashion some bamboo wigwams of exceptional (tho i do say so myself) charm

Other recent joys include the purchase of new notebooks. Less than a pound each from a street market, they are straight out of prep school. 

I was thrilled to note that although i chose one of each colour due to my enduring love of candy shades, each book also had a differing interior...

Other indulgences recently were beautiful tulips and cool cider on a spring day

As well as the glorious contrast of these two shades of nature...

Such pretty sights cheer me up always.